Today I Did: Swirly and the Quest for Meat

Can I help you find something?

I am on a quest! A quest for meat!

We... have meat here.

For meat that probably does not exist. But quest I shall!

I seek pork that has not been fed corn.
I don't think that's actually a thing but a girl can dream.

Perhaps boar bacon.

We do get boar belly in sometimes that we make bacon out of, but
not recently. Hey, Bob, do you know if we have any grass fed pork?

I'm allergic to corn. I'm trying to find bacon
that wasn't fed or washed in corn.

Washed in corn?

Dextrose. For some reason, some meats are
washed with dextrose, which is corn sugar.

Oh, show her the Applegate. I think that's grain fed.

I have not had bacon in over a year. It's not right.

That's just plain wrong.

Wrong like turkey bacon,
which is an abomination unto my taste buds.

It is not bacon and it's wrong. Here's the Applegate.

I shall pray to the labeling gods.

HOLY NOT-SHITSNACKS!

Success!