You Should Really Stop Saying that Hillary Clinton Is Boring

Many people complain about Hillary Clinton's speaking style, but they complain about different things. It's a problem faced by every woman in politics: she's trying to manage a double bind.

The Public Speaking Double Bind

There are different stereotypes about women speaking. We talk too much. We yell. We screech, We're shrill. We're timid. We're too quiet. We're too assertive. We're not assertive enough. We hedge too much. We hedge too little. We're crying. We're whining. We're too masculine. We're too feminine. We're hysterical. We nag. We're obviously not taking this seriously.

I'll break this into the obvious pair.

Being Too Loud

You've probably heard people complain that Hillary Clinton yells. For a funny explanation of why you shouldn't complain about this, have some satire. For a not funny one, there's always Time.

The obvious example in Clinton's case is used in both of those pieces. One night, Clinton won the primaries in Ohio and Florida, important swing states. She got excited! Who wouldn't be excited? She raised her voice in a moment of exuberance and BAM: "What's she angry at?" "She should be smiling!" "A more conversational tone might be better." "It's weird to hear those words in such angry tones."

Those are actual criticisms of her raising her voice in happiness from pundits from that one incident.

When Bernie Sanders gave his speech at the DNC on Monday, he yelled literally the whole speech. And it wasn't even like the totally engaging Black preacher who yelled an invocation on Thursday. It was monotone yelling. He yells all the time. Clinton even used it against Sanders in a debate.

During the first Democratic debate, Sanders responded to Clinton’s impassioned anti-gun argument by telling her that “all the shouting in the world” won’t fix the issue. Now Clinton, to huge amounts of applause from the women in her audiences, has taken to saying, “Sometimes when a woman speaks out, some people think it’s shouting.”

Trump yells all the time. I think he dyes himself orange so we can't see the red when he yells. At this point, I don't think that Sanders or Trump is capable of speaking without yelling. What do people call it when they yell? Passionate. Engaging. Heartfelt. Exciting.

What's the opposite of exciting?

Being Too Quiet

Is not the opposite of exciting, although it is the opposite of loud. We should all be clear at this point that Clinton doesn't really have this problem, but it is a problem for many women and it greatly affects women in other speaking contexts. If women are too quiet, we're: not assertive enough. Not taking this seriously. Timid. Too quiet. Too feminine.

Is There a Solution to the Double Bind?

Yes, it's always speaking at a conversational volume, without high or low volume jumps to signal emotion, while still managing to not sound robotic. We used to hear that complaint about her all the time. Well, she's managed to avoid sounding robotic, so what do we call what's left in her allowable vocal range?

The opposite of exciting: boring.

The Public Speaking Triple Bind: Boring

So, you've managed to navigate the sexist double bind and no one is accusing you of yelling or complaining that you're not taking this seriously. You've also avoided sounding like a robot, so now you are boring.

Think of the speech as a tightrope. Clinton is trying to walk the tightrope to the other side. If she steps too far to the left, she'll fall off and people will complain that she's yelling. If she steps too far to the right, she'll fall off and people will complain that she isn't taking this seriously. Over decades of public speaking, at least dozens of hours of performance, she has learned to very precisely walk that tightrope and get to the other side.

Calling her boring is faulting her for getting to the other side. She really can't win, can she?

Also...

If we bring any of this up, we're "whining."

What Difference Does It Make?

If the biggest fault that you can find with Hillary Clinton is that she's not the world's best orator, you should really ask yourself why that matters.

There are three circumstances in which I can immediately think that oratory skills can benefit a President:

• convincing Congress to do things
• convincing the leaders of other nations to do things
• speaking to "the people"

Remember the superdelegates that some people were so mad about? A lot of them are Congresspeople. Hillary Clinton has a lot of friends to help her achieve her goals. Since that's the case, is oration a skill that she needs for this? Not so much.

And you remember that she was Secretary of State? Her job was to fly around talking to world leaders and every time she went to a country, she also stopped to talk to local women to find out what their needs were. She has excellent working relationships with the leaders and citizens of other countries and is very popular with them. Besides which, most of them get her speeches translated. (I mean, I assume.) So, does oration really matter here? Not really, no.

What's left is talking to the people, so the State of the Union Address and occasional national crises. Neither of those is supposed to be entertaining! In a crisis, I want to hear a calm, soothing, rational voice. That's the boring voice that people complain about.

"But I Don't Want to Have a Beer with..."

Well, I do. She is an amazing, brilliant, accomplished woman who has seen the whole world, who has experiences that I can only imagine. She has been harassed and investigated and smeared, even while we watched her endure a cheating scandal, and she is still fighting. She is succeeding in the face of that and in spite of the sexist BS that she has to endure in her field. I would want to have a beer with Hillary Clinton even if she'd lost the race-- even if she hadn't run. I think she must be fascinating to talk to. She is unique. Or rather, I'd love to shoot vodka with her because I'm allergic to some beers.

Stubbornness is my superpower but I have nothing on Hillary Clinton's stubbornness. She only invests in two attributes: int and resil.

I think she's incredibly interesting.

Still Think She's Boring?

If you think that Clinton's speeches are boring, you may be faulting her for successfully navigating the sexist double bind that applies to women's public speaking. If you want to avoid being sexist, you should simply understand that this is what's happening and give her some leeway. If you think that Clinton is personally boring, you don't care about her uniqueness, her vast life experience, her fight for civil rights, or anything that she's done, in which case, I think you're a fool and I would like your beer date with Clinton, plzkthx.

I'm pretty sure that picture is someone punching water. Just sayin'.