Clinton Declared First Female Presumptive Nominee: "You're Terrible if You Celebrate!"

Last night, Clinton was declared the presumptive nominee by the AP because enough superdelegates declared themselves for her that she reached the required minimum total. Sanders fans immediately went into the Land of Rhetorical Gotchas, where I guess the "real votes" live.

I expected that they were going to try to delegitimize the Clinton votes, since there has been a long campaign in that direction. But what's actually happening is even more appalling than that.

"Yes, yes, I know you ladies are eager to make history, but some of us actually care about this election."

The presumptive nominee of a major party has been determined-- the clear winner in every metric and an insider favorite against the other presumptive nominee. Her supporters are excited to have won and exhale a large sigh of relief that now the sexism from our side can finally end. So what's the correct response to that, according to Sanders supporters?

• "Breaking the glass ceiling is frivolous."
• "You only wanted her to win because she has a vagina."
• "You don't even care about the issues."
• "You're trying to make history and I'm trying to save you from yourself!"
• "You're wrong to celebrate anyway because [insert magical thinking] will make Bernie win."
• "You should be ashamed for celebrating. No one wants to see that! Sore fucking winners who didn't win yet!" 
• "What about my feelings? Don't you know that I feel bad?"

I'm Sorry, but Did You Just Say Condescending, Patronizing, Sexist Things about Me to My Face, then Demand I Be Nice to You Because You Have FEELINGS, Random Internet Stranger?

My Response Can Only Be Expressed with Malcolm Tucker gifs